bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
