i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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