He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
