I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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