Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
