i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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