i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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