they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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