i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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