if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sobbing to NWA
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
