Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize