Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
