I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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