I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need a burrito and a hug.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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