I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
