I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
