Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
