I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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