Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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