So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
