Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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