apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
