the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
