I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
