did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
