I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
