Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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