It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
this hospital has no fireball
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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