i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
