Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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