): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
