she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
