Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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