i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
