can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
