if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
