i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
