Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it hurts more in the daytime
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
