i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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