i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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