he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize