the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
