I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
