I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
