you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
