what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
