he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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