Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
