The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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