Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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