Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize