You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
