STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
