ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
