I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
