Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
