So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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