he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
