...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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