Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
