I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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